il gioco di calcio
by Twilight 3-1
Summary: Hawkeye finds a new spin to stop boredom.


Boredom...you think you got it bad? Try being in a war. Ha! you say? How can you be bored in a war? How can you be bored in freedom? TV, friends, food, safety...yeah you got it real good!  
  
So what do we do when we're bored? Well some paint, some get trashed, some busy themselves in work, some find eloquent and unique ways to get out of here, some write letters, some play golf, some go for a picnic...stuff like that. Chasing nurses was always fun...occasionally you'd catch one and make an afternoon of it.  
  
But now that's boring. Same old stuff to paint, same old hangover, same old EXTREMELY boring work, same old stunts, same old boring events, same old golf clubs, same old crappy food...same old nurses.  
  
So what do we do to combat boredom? Well there's not much we can do except...be bored and grateful we're not in surgery coated in the blood of dozens of kids. If that sounds boring...then yeah it kinda is.  
  
But at least we're still alive right?  
  
"Hawk?"  
  
"What?" Hawkeye answered, looking up from what he was writing.  
  
"I'm bored...entertain me."  
  
"Do I look like your wife?"  
  
"Put on one of Klinger's dresses and we'll see."  
  
"As much as that sounds enticing...no thanks."  
  
"But it would be a change..."  
  
"Yeah...so it would."  
  
It was yet another loooooooooooooong week of no wounded. Hawkeye and BJ were lounging in the Swamp both bored out of their minds. So much that Hawkeye had been writing down every little thought he had in his head. Who knows...might be good for a laugh when this is all over...if it was ever over. There was nothing to do...or as Hawkeye said no one to do...all the nurses were either married or not interested. The place needed a change...needed something to do. Hawkeye had no idea and so was gonna clear his head to think.  
  
"I'm going for a walk"  
  
"But I'm BORED!"  
  
"Write a letter!"  
  
"I've done that...three times today"  
  
"So write another!"  
  
"There's nothing new to write!"  
  
"I don't know then...go talk to Charles...I'm gonna think of something to do!" he quickly exited before BJ could start again.  
  
Hawkeye began aimlessly wandering the compound, where he found a sudden interest in a large rock. Soon he began kicking it, from one foot to the other, across the compound. He was really getting into it, brining him back to his childhood days of family get-togethers, not caring or noticing the compound staring at him like he was a complete nut. He also didn't notice Margaret coming towards him.  
  
"Pierce?" He didn't look up from his game.  
  
"Hawkeye?" she said more fiercely. "Hiya Margaret...be with ya in a sec."  
  
He continued along a few more steps and kicked the rock hard, letting it fly across the compound hitting the side of post op.  
  
"So Margaret...how can I help you?"  
  
"You feeling alright?"  
  
"Ah just the usual"  
  
"Bored out of your brain?"  
  
"YES! There's NOTHING to...THAT'S IT!" he yelled as an idea hit him...one that hadn't been done ever at the camp.  
  
"What's it?"  
  
"An end to boredom"  
  
Margaret rolled her eyes in annoyance. Boy did he underestimate her intelligence at times. "I figured that...what's the idea?"  
  
"You ever played soccer?"  
  
"Soccer? Not really."  
  
"You never played soccer?" Hawkeye was somewhat surprised. 'She'd never played soccer?'  
  
"What is it besides kicking a ball around?"  
  
Hawkeye cracked a smile. Boy did she underestimate his intelligence at times. "My dear Major...soccer is not just a game...it's an institution...THE global competition!"  
  
"In Europe maybe"  
  
Hawkeye smiled 'She knows more than she lets on hmmm'. "Ah so you do know something."  
  
Margaret wasn't sure what he meant...but let it slide. "Of course...but why soccer...it's not exactly an American game..."  
  
"So...I'm not exactly American."  
  
"So what I mean is you can't play a one-man game. There's just not enough people who know about it."  
  
"I know that...we'll teach them!"  
  
Margaret sighed...he had a good idea but she saw the negative over the positive...as usual. 'He knows more than he lets on...' "I don't know if people would be willing to learn. Anyway why do you know so much about it?"  
  
"Because I played it."  
  
Margaret rolled her eyes again. 'Does he think I'm a complete vegetable?' "I know THAT...but I thought you played football?"  
  
"I played football because there wasn't a soccer team. Plus most of my family come from Italy...it's in our blood to play."  
  
'Italian eh?' "I don't know..."  
  
"Come on it's not that hard...kick a ball into a goal, the team who gets the most goals in 90 minutes wins!"  
  
"If it was that easy then why doesn't everyone play it."  
  
"Because America likes violence...soccer isn't meant to be a contact sport. Come on Margaret...please?"  
  
'That's true' she thought. "Well..."  
  
"I'll take that as a yes...let's go!"  
  
"But Hawk...what do you mean by 'we'?"  
  
But Hawkeye didn't listen...he instead grabbed her arm and ran towards the Swamp.  
  
"Hey Beej...I got an idea!"  
  
"Does it involve something other than pen and paper?"  
  
"Sure does...interested?"  
  
"You bet!"  
  
BJ was keen to do something other than writing dreary letters to the people he loved back home.  
  
"So what's the idea?"  
  
"Soccer!" BJ remained silent.  
  
"You know!"  
  
"Besides kicking a ball around, kicking it into a goal, the team who gets the most goals in 90 minutes wins" Margaret sarcastically repeated, which was rewarded with a light slap on the arm by Hawkeye.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"So you up for it?"  
  
"Sure...why not?"  
  
"You know how to play?"  
  
"California was settled by the Spanish...Spain's a soccer playing nation. Of course I do."  
  
"Not as good as Italy!"  
  
"You wish!"  
  
"Name the last time Spain was in a final of the world cup?"  
  
"So Italy was in the last 2 finals...so what?"  
  
"So ha!"  
  
'How the hell do they know this much about soccer?' "Guys! Are we playing or not?"  
  
"So is that a yes?"  
  
"Oh it's a yes!" BJ said with a hint of pride in his voice.  
  
"Do we even have a ball?" Margaret asked.  
  
'Always the organised one' Hawkeye grinned, opened his footlocker and pulled out a ball.  
  
"Hey, I never saw that before!"  
  
"That because I've never shown it to anyone!"  
  
"You have a soccer ball why?" Margaret questioned.  
  
"Lucky charm of my family. They preferred me alive rather than dead apparently."  
  
"Gee I wonder why?" Margaret said sarcastically, snatching the ball from his hands.  
  
"Who said you could hold that?"  
  
"I agreed to play...so I get the ball"  
  
The guys rolled their eyes and exited, in search of more players.  
  
"Hey father!"  
  
"Hawkeye! You seem awful cheery today. What's your secret?"  
  
"Bored too?"  
  
"I've read through the whole New Testament...twice. After that I'm afraid it becomes a little too repetitive."  
  
"We may just have the cure. You up for a game of soccer?"  
  
"Soccer! Why I haven't played that since I was in the seminary...that would be a nice change."  
  
"Great...be ready in 5 minutes?"  
  
"Okay then!"  
  
"Okay whose next then?" Margaret inquired.  
  
"Radar"  
  
"Radar?" she and BJ asked.  
  
Hawkeye rolled his eyes, "To announce it over the PA?"  
  
"Oh right!" they replied with a sound of acceptance.  
  
The trio made their way over to Radar's office, where everyone's favourite company clerk was typing up the daily reports for tomorrow.  
  
"August the 22nd?"  
  
"I like to get a head start."  
  
"Radar tomorrow hasn't happened yet?"  
  
"Ah but tomorrow won't be tomorrow, tomorrow...tomorrow will be today and today will be yesterday and the day after tomorrow will be the new tomorrow."  
  
The three just shook their heads once it had registered what Radar had just said...not that they'd quite got his logic.  
  
"Corporal we'd like to make an announcement."  
  
"Uh sure..." Radar was still intimidated by Margaret and never went against her reasoning or requests...he'd copped more than his fair share at being the end of a Houlihan tantrum.  
  
Hawkeye took the mike and started.  
  
"Attention camp...this here is your favourite surgeon. All those of you who are bored beyond the point where they wish North Korea would invade please give a loud yeah."  
  
BJ opened the door so they could hear the 50 or so very loud 'YEAH!'  
  
"And here's our ever lovely Margaret."  
  
Margaret glared at him, slightly blushing and took the mike. "Now all those who want something to do give a yeah."  
  
The same reaction came with the whole camp yelling.  
  
BJ then took the stand. "Now anyone who likes being bored yell."  
  
Not a sound was heard.  
  
"He just doesn't know how to handle a crowd. All those interested please form a stampede to the compound." Hawkeye let go of the mike as they listened to the many pairs of feet running.  
  
"Whatcha gonna do Hawk?"  
  
"You interested?" asked BJ.  
  
"Of course...who wouldn't be?"  
  
"Then follow us." Hawkeye answered.  
  
Once out in the compound with practically every person in camp standing there, the three hoped that these people knew what soccer actually was.  
  
"I take it everyone here is bored?"  
  
After many yeahs and uh huh, several HELL YEAHS and one GET ON WITH IT...Hawkeye began to tell of his idea.  
  
"Who hear knows how to play soccer?"  
  
The crowd began discussing it with each other. 'Soccer?' 'What does he think we are? Mexicans?' After a while about 15 or so hands went up.  
  
The three were somewhat surprised by this...15 people?  
  
"Bet none of them would know the world cup scores," Hawkeye said to the other two.  
  
Margaret rolled her eyes at him and took the stand. "So we're proposing a game or two. Those who are interested and know that it's more than just kicking a ball around, form two teams and those who'd rather sit back and cheer...do that."  
  
"Whose the Captains?" "Whose the umpire?" "Is it men against nurses?" "Officers against enlisted?"  
  
BJ spoke up. "Well as I see it it's only fitting that the Captains be...Captains. Hawk...you up for it?"  
  
"You're on Hunnicutt!" the two man shook hands and looked back at the compound.  
  
"Anyone wanna umpire...Margaret?"  
  
"No...I wanna play!"  
  
"BAGS HER!" the two men said...Hawkeye just beat him to it.  
  
Margaret sensing he said it a little two eagerly just smiled in response.  
  
"Ah Charles...always love a volunteer!"  
  
Charles was walking back from Post Op, heading to the Swamp hoping to avoid attention.  
  
"Me...you are joking of course?"  
  
"Come on there's nothing to it...requires concentration and no physical activity...you can manage that can't you?" Margaret said with a hint of annoyance. That man could be SO unsociable at times.  
  
"Alright, Alright." Charles agreed...he wasn't planning on doing anything overly exciting anyway.  
  
"Just get into teams and all is done."  
  
"So is that a yes?"  
  
The crowd yelled in agreement.  
  
"GREAT!" Hawkeye said with a big smile.  
  
Within 5 minutes the camp was assembled in a non-landmine field. Goals had been set up by the enlisted using old oil drums. A chalkboard and table was set up on one side and much to Charles' delight and Hawkeye's annoyance, a whistle was issued. Those who were playing had changed into shorts and Hawkeye had his secret advantage...soccer boots.  
  
"Where the hell did they come from?" Potter asked, somewhat annoyed and jealous because he was on BJ's team.  
  
"Footlocker." "Oh umpire...are those allowed?" Charles for once was on the side of Hawkeye...plus he was still bitter about Potter's latest refusal for a transfer.  
  
"I don't see why not." Charles said with smug voice.  
  
Potter grumbled and walked over to his teams.  
  
The teams were as such:  
  
Hawkeye's Italian Stallions: Hawkeye  
  
Margaret  
  
Klinger  
  
Radar  
  
Igor  
  
Bigelow  
  
Hunnicutt's Spanish Matadors: BJ  
  
Potter  
  
Mulcahy  
  
Kellye  
  
Zale  
  
Able  
  
"You are SO gonna lose!" Hawkeye teased him.  
  
"Oh? Just because Spain hasn't won a world cup doesn't necessarily mean they're bad players."  
  
The 'Italians' just laughed. BJ could be funny at times. Ignorant...but funny.  
  
"A matador...against a Stallion?" Margaret question placing her hand on Hawkeye's chest to show her Captain. She quickly removed it when she realised what it looked like and covered herself. "HA! No chance bull rider!"  
  
"Listen to the woman...she knows what she's talking about." Hawkeye looked down and smiled at her.  
  
"Are we here to play soccer or are we here to socialise? Start it already!"  
  
Radar read out the rules.  
  
"1. No touching the ball." People were looking at each other confused.  
  
Hawkeye spoke up. "That's no touching the ball with your hands, except for the goalkeeper who can catch it and throw it back in the lines." He corrected.  
  
"Oh right. 2. Each goal is one point. 3. Uh...although traditional soccer isn't a contact sport, seeing that we're American we are to uphold the tradition of beating the living hell...oh sorry father...out of the other team wherever possible...hey!"  
  
"Don't look at me...I didn't suggest it in the first place!"  
  
"Talk to the army brat!"  
  
"Excuse me! You're the one who said that!"  
  
"So? You agreed...I merely pointed out that Americans liked beating each other up."  
  
"Any other rules Radar?" asked an impatient Klinger.  
  
"Hawk?"  
  
"Of course. But for the point of this exercise and the fact we have half team, then no."  
  
"Goalkeepers..."  
  
"Right!" said Mulcahy.  
  
"Ri-ight" said a shaky Radar with a football helmet and thick pads on.  
  
"Radar take that off! This ain't some sissy football game! We won't hurt you...too much."  
  
"Yes sir." Radar said nervously.  
  
Charles stepped to the middle of the field, placed Hawkeye's prized ball in the middle, moved back and the two 'Captains' stood eyeing each other off ready to start.  
  
"Everybody ready?" asked Charles  
  
"Just get on wi..."  
  
Charles blew the whistle before Potter could finish and the game began.  
  
"Thanks a lot Winchester."  
  
"Anytime Colonel"  
  
"COLONEL!" BJ screamed as Hawkeye got control of the ball.  
  
"Sorry!" and he ran to catch up with the ball.  
  
Hawkeye was quite the expert soccer player as he skilfully dribbled the ball to the left, then with all speed to the right, making it hard for everyone to follow.  
  
Many of the nurses and enlisted had streamers and balloons and went all out for the event. Many loud 'GO STALLIONS!' and 'GO MATADORS!' were being shouted.  
  
Many of the Matadors were gaining up on Hawkeye, claiming that his fancy footwork was distracting and illegal. Charles just shrugged it off and they resumed play. That didn't stop all 5 players chasing after him.  
  
Within a blink of an eye he kicked the ball to Margaret. Not as skilled or good as he was, but the fits she often threw were good practice and she ran around 2 of the players before they noticed. Quickly she ran off towards Mulcahy and their goal. But being female she wasn't as fast as the majority of the players and Zale took the ball from her.  
  
"What the he..."  
  
"KLINGER GET THE BALL" Hawkeye screamed.  
  
All in all the game was quite noisy – with the crowd cheering and the players yelling at each other and the ball getting the life kicked out of it.  
  
Klinger quickly took to his order and chased after Zale. Many of the officers began to regret what Hawkeye had done. Catching up with him he slid along the ground, kicking the ball out of his control. Zale was not the man to be played and turned around to get the ball back...hitting Klinger fair in the jaw.  
  
Soon the two forgot all about the game and a punch up started. Charles blew the whistle but to no avail.  
  
"HEY KNOCK IT OFF!"  
  
"BREAK IT UP!"  
  
"GET BACK TO THE GAME!" was screamed by many.  
  
Hawkeye and BJ went up to their respective players and pulled them off each other.  
  
"TIMEOUT!" yelled Charles as each team went off to their own sides.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?" Screamed Margaret. "YOU WANNA FIGHT, GO UP TO THE FRONT LINES!" she finished.  
  
"Thank you Major." Hawkeye said with a smile.  
  
Margaret smiled back, stood down and he got up to speak.  
  
"So far we're doing okay...minus the playground wrestling match." He glared at Klinger who had a look of regret on his face.  
  
"What you need to do is get a man."  
  
"Or woman" added Bigelow.  
  
"A PLAYER and guard that ball with your life. If he or SHE" he added before either nurse could say something, "gets the ball, you do everything you can to get it off them. Klinger-Potter, Igor-Zale, Bigelow-Able, Margaret- Kellye and I'll take BJ." The team nodded in agreement.  
  
"Remember, there's no body protection and when the game's played properly it gets awfully rough. So watch yourselves. Now is everyone right?" They all agreed.  
  
Meanwhile over at the Matador camp.  
  
"Don't try that again Zale"  
  
"But he took the ball off me."  
  
"That's the whole idea of the game. Just because they have the ball doesn't mean you go belting into them." Zale mumbled something and he continued.  
  
"Father, you right to stick with the goals?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay just remember, the aim of the game is to get the ball into their goals. Father your aim is to keep the ball OUT of the goals. Everyone sure on what they're doing?" They nodded and 'yeah'd' in agreement.  
  
The two teams went back to the centre of the field, goalies went to their spots, Charles blew the whistle and the game continued.  
  
Kellye took control of the ball. Margaret went chasing after her with all speed along with the other players. All eyes were focused on the ball yet unfortunately not on where their feet were, which had disastrous results. Igor tripped over Zale, who tripped over Klinger, who tripped over Potter, who ran into BJ, who purposely tripped Hawkeye.  
  
So the match was left up to the girls, who took to it viciously. "BIGELOW GET ROUND THE SIDE DAMMIT!"  
  
"HURRY UP KELLYE!"  
  
"DON'T PUSH IT ABLE!"  
  
"YOU GET ROUND THE SIDE HOULIHAN!"  
  
"STICK TO YOUR PLAYER DAMMIT!"  
  
The men looked on in awe. "You've created a monster Hawk..."  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
The girls were really getting into it. The men just standing (or those who could stand) back. Bigelow snatched the ball from Able, and kicked it to Margaret who was being ganged up on by Kellye. She was mere metres away from the goal.  
  
"GO MARGARET!" shouted Hawkeye  
  
"GO MAJOR!" shouted everyone else.  
  
Running ever so closer, she kicked the ball as hard as she could, it went flying towards the goal as she slipped and landed on the ground (as the grass was still quite wet from rain they had 3 days earlier), Mulcahy made a dive for it and SCORE!  
  
"I got it in...I GOT IT IN!" she screamed and ran across the field to her other team-mates.  
  
Hawkeye scooped her up as she was yelling "I DID IT! Did you see that goal? Wasn't that the BEST goal you've ever seen?" Hawkeye and the others cracked up. Margaret always assumed the worst and was ever so happy when the best occurred.  
  
"That was great Margaret!"  
  
"Really?" she asked...liked she needed approval.  
  
"Hey, any goal's a good goal!" and they continued to laugh.  
  
"Alright, alright REGROUP!" BJ yelled.  
  
Potter was limping slightly. "You alright Colonel?"  
  
"Just dandy."  
  
"You're limping. FATHER!" Mulcahy walked up still heavily breathing.  
  
"You made quite a landing...you alright?"  
  
"Fine...just...she took me by surprise."  
  
"Hotlips sure has a habit of doing that. Potter, I'm putting you on goals."  
  
"I said I'm..."  
  
"Ah, no arguing with the Captain."  
  
Meanwhile over in 'Italy'  
  
"Major about what I said..."  
  
"Forget it Bigelow...it's a game. I'm not going to report you for THAT." Margaret smiled and the lieutenant was put at ease.  
  
"Hey...that was a pretty good goal."  
  
"Yeah it was." Margaret smiled cheekily.  
  
Hawkeye called everyone over. "Alright that was a great start. We keep playing like this and we'll KICK THEIR ASS!"  
  
"YEAH!" they all shouted in agreement.  
  
"Hey Klinger you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, that idiot Zale landed on me pretty hard...I've had worse."  
  
"We all right?" everyone agreed and the game started up again.  
  
15 or so minutes later and no-one had scored another goal yet. Although there had been several clashes mainly between Klinger and Zale or Igor and Zale...the girls continued to play pretty rough too. Even intimidating Hawkeye at one point.  
  
"Oh that was SO in Pierce!"  
  
"NO WAY Hunnicutt!"  
  
"You wanna make something of it?"  
  
"YOU'RE ON!"  
  
"BOYS! CUT IT!" Margaret stepped in before the two Captains could rip each other's heads off.  
  
"WINCHESTER!" Charles stepped up to them and calmly said.  
  
"Well it looked out to me...Margaret?" Remembering she was SO observant.  
  
"I'd have to agree." She said with a smile.  
  
"RADAR! THROW HER IN!" Hawkeye yelled.  
  
Were the crowd getting noisier?  
  
Radar threw the ball in and accidentally hit Charles who hadn't moved yet.  
  
"OH! I'm so sorry Major!" Radar wasn't so much scared as worried.  
  
"You watch..."  
  
"Charles it was YOUR fault you were still on the field."  
  
Charles mumbled something along the lines of 'Cretinous Italian,' and moved off. And so they continued.  
  
The ball was kicked high in the air by Hawkeye...whom having 50 first cousins, two-thirds of them older and ALL loving soccer – even his Irish side, he could kick it with the best of them. Luckily for him...he was the best!  
  
Igor caught the ball and tried to dribble it over towards their goal...but with an entire team of Matadors after him he soon lost it to Able, who starting running back towards the middle. Wrestling the ball with BJ who just wanted a go, they lost it to Klinger who turned round to head back towards Potter and their goals. Mulcahy advanced on him and took it out from under his feet, whilst tripping Margaret who quickly got up and chased after the crowd.  
  
Because of the recent rain and the fact the ground was still quite wet and slippery, all the players were covered in mud from the waist down. Many of them completely from head to toe. But Hawkeye had earlier warned his team that it would get quite muddy and dirty and that just all added to the enjoyment. So no-one fussed...even Margaret who remember the last time she was covered in mud...which too was quite fun!  
  
Mulcahy still had the ball and was nearly to the other end of the field when Charles blew the whistle and declared "HALF TIME!"  
  
BOY were the Matadors ticked off.  
  
"WE HAD THE GOAL IN SIGHT!" BJ protested.  
  
"Yeah!" added his team.  
  
"WINCHESTER! You've been against us from the start just because I wouldn't give in!"  
  
"EXCUSE me Colonel! I would not let my personal feelings towards your decision in ANY way affect this...game."  
  
"Come off it Colonel...there's another 25 minutes of play to go!" Hawkeye protested.  
  
Potter grumbled and the teams went their separate ways.  
  
"Can we go shower or something?" asks Bigelow.  
  
"Yeah this mud's hardening." Margaret complains.  
  
"No time for that."  
  
Instead Hawkeye dumps a bucket of cold water over her head.  
  
"AHHHH! PIERCE!"  
  
"Uh Bigelow?"  
  
"It can wait Hawk..."  
  
"WHAT THE HELL!"  
  
"Well you're clean...sorta."  
  
Instead the mud became sloppy.  
  
"THAT didn't help at all!" Margaret fumed.  
  
"Well I think it's kinda cute." Hawkeye grinned.  
  
Margaret in ponytails and covered in wet mud from top to bottom was adorable.  
  
Margaret casually waltzed up to the other buckets of water there.  
  
"Oh ho, ho DON'T you EVEN THINK ABOUT IT HOULIHAN!"  
  
The crowd plus the Matadors turned their attention towards Hawkeye's yelling and much to their amusement Margaret was chasing him across the field with a bucket of water in hand. She caught up with him and dumped it over his head.  
  
"You are SO DEAD NOW!" Hawkeye ran after her, bumping into BJ. He also decided to get involved.  
  
Hawkeye finally caught up with Margaret and picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. "PUT ME DOWN!"  
  
"Hey Hawk..." Hawkeye foolishly turned around and got a face full of water.  
  
BJ was in hysterics and didn't notice Klinger coming up behind him and then throwing water over his head. "ARGH!" Hawkeye, Margaret and Klinger were in hysterics. Then a whole water fight began.  
  
All in all a very productive half time. Some of the enlisted had got a barbeque started whilst the remaining crowd ran over to join in the fight. Charles stood back from everyone, not getting involved in the activities.  
  
"I think someone's MISSING OUT!" said Potter. Hawkeye, BJ and Margaret had an evil look on their faces.  
  
"LET"S GET HIM!" and the majority of the camp chased after Charles, drenching him with buckets and buckets of water.  
  
"ARGH GET OFF ME YOU CRETINS!" but Charles couldn't help but join in everyone's joy and laughter.  
  
"OKAY ALRIGHT...STALLIONS!" "MATADORS!" the respective Captains called their teams for a game plan.  
  
"Margaret" Hawkeye handed her a towel.  
  
"Thanks." She smiled at him.  
  
"Now I have a feeling that this half's going to get nasty."  
  
"You don't call fighting and lots of people tripping over nasty?" asks Igor.  
  
"Trust me...that's a picnic. In all the games I've been in, there's been at least one person bloodied up by the end."  
  
"But this is only just for fun!" states Radar.  
  
"So were they," answers Hawkeye. "So Bigelow, you take goals."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Igor, Klinger; you two are back line. If the ball gets by us...GRAB IT!"  
  
"Ya huh."  
  
"Radar, you're side man." The young Corporal went pale. "Nothing much happens on the side."  
  
Radar breathed a sigh of relief and nodded in agreement.  
  
"That leaves you and me Margaret for the front line. Think you can handle it?"  
  
"With you there...of course!" she smiled.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
"Okay...I don't care if they're you're best buddies or whatever...you do WHATEVER you need to do to get the ball. Trip, slide, grab, push...whatever! But GET THAT BALL!"  
  
"Whose on which spot BJ?" asks Able.  
  
"Right...uh. Potter you alright to get back into the game?"  
  
"Just fine."  
  
"Kellye you take goals, Able stick to the side, Potter, Mulcahy to the back, and Zale and I to the front. Everyone right with that?"  
  
"Yeah!" everyone was in agreement.  
  
"If we're right...get to your posts." The two Captains said to their teams.  
  
"Hey Hawk!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What say we...up the stakes a little?"  
  
"What do you have in mind?"  
  
"POTTER!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How does a 3-day pass to the winning team sound?"  
  
"Sounds like an incentive to win."  
  
"That's what it is!"  
  
"I wouldn't agree if I were you Pierce...cause we are so gonna kick your can it'll be an embarrassment!"  
  
"HA! What about on top of that...loser has to do one thing for winner...anything at ANY time?"  
  
"You got a deal!" the two shook hands on it and took their places.  
  
Charles blew the whistle and the game commenced.  
  
Hawkeye took control of the ball, kicked it over to Radar who caught it...with his hands. Charles blew the whistle.  
  
"AW RADAR WHAT YA DO THAT FOR?"  
  
"IT WAS GONNA HIT ME!"  
  
"IT'S SOCCER...OF COURSE IT'LL HIT YOU!" screamed Margaret. Now she, he WAS scared of.  
  
"Uh...yes m'am." Margaret rolled her eyes and walked back to her position.  
  
Abel took the ball and threw it onto the field. BJ took immediate control, kicked it to Potter who somehow managed to get round Margaret, nearly slip by Hawkeye and kick it to Zale who had run up ahead. Klinger tried hi hardest to get it off Zale, but he kicked it back to BJ. He ran to the goal, knocking over everyone in his way, kicked towards the goal and...HA! Bigelow caught it. "Nice try Captain" she smiled.  
  
The ball went back to the circle, the whistle blew and off again. Unfortunately Klinger and Zale had started another fight, so again the whistle blew as they went up to pull them apart...again.  
  
"WILL YOU TWO GET A BRAIN!"  
  
"FORGET THAT...5 MINUTES – BENCH! Oh...sorry Hawkeye!" Margaret half smiled.  
  
"No...if it was me I'd have given you 10." Hawkeye smirked back at her.  
  
"NOW!" BJ screamed.  
  
"We'll just go with 5 players." Potter finished.  
  
They headed back to the centre where the game continued after the whistle. Potter had moved to the front and he took the ball, because of his...maturity and the fact Hawkeye had agility, he soon lost it. Hawkeye again did the side-to-side pass, confusing many people and kicked it hard to Margaret.  
  
She caught it with her leg, kicked it in the air, caught it with her foot and continued towards the goal. Hawkeye was stunned, Margaret noticed his shocked expression...his jaw was on the ground after-all. She gave him a bright smile, which he returned, and slipped, landing on her back hard.  
  
Hawkeye's smile faded and he ran over to her, yet the game still continued until Charles blew the whistle. Everyone on the field ran over too.  
  
"Margaret, can you move?"  
  
"I could but I may scream." Margaret managed to sit up but it kinda hurt.  
  
"And?"  
  
"Ow..." she said with a half smile.  
  
"Can you go on?"  
  
"Help me up." Hawkeye and BJ took a hand each and eased her up.  
  
"Yeah I can go on."  
  
The game continued, BJ took control of the ball, kicking it to Mulcahy who kicked it to Potter who got it in the goal.  
  
"HA HA! We Matadors have a chance YET ITALIANS!!!" Potter yelled in excitement.  
  
"You sure you're okay Margaret?"  
  
"Just a little sore is all."  
  
"BIGELOW! Switch with Houlihan."  
  
"Hawkeye you don't have to..."  
  
"No I don't wanna risk anything broken." Margaret smiled at him and walked to wards the goals.  
  
Charles signalled Klinger and Zale back in, the whistle blew and they started again.  
  
The Matadors gained the upper hand, scoring two goals, by Zale and Abel, leaving Margaret feeling stupid.  
  
"Sorry Hawkeye." She said sadly.  
  
They had 10 minutes to go and the score was 3-1.  
  
"Not your fault...IGOR! Take the goals. Bigelow – back line." Margaret was happy she wasn't stuck on goals anymore.  
  
The game resumed with Hawkeye passing the ball to Bigelow...who had all 5 Matadors gaining on her. The only one free, she kicked the ball to Radar whom for once didn't catch it with his hands.  
  
They all turned on him, he freaked and randomly kicked the ball. SCORE! He got a goal!  
  
"WAY TO GO RADAR!"  
  
"GOOD GOAL KIDDO!"  
  
The Stallions all went up and congratulated him. Radar was still in shock.  
  
"Me...kick...goal?"  
  
"Sure did son!"  
  
Even BJ and his team gave in their congrats. For Radar, getting a goal was a big thing.  
  
The game continued, the Matadors sticking their horns in...so to speak.  
  
"GETTEM ZALE!" Zale coming from Brooklyn was used to rough living and barged through 3 people, knocking Radar, Bigelow and Klinger down. Surprisingly Igor caught the ball and the score stayed 3-2.  
  
Radar was stumbling all over the place until he finally collapsed. Hawkeye ran over to him.  
  
"Hey Radar..."  
  
"Corporal?"  
  
"Kiddo!"  
  
Radar was out cold. Nothing serious but he couldn't continue.  
  
"If you don't find another player within the next...7 minutes you're out!" proclaimed Charles. Hawkeye grinned.  
  
Charles knew what he was grinning about. "Oh no!" "Oh yes Charles! Siete esso arbitro" Everyone gave a look that said 'HUH?' "You're it ref!" "Oh!" everyone said. Charles put up a protest but instead was dragged onto the field.  
  
Baker took Charles' job and the game began.  
  
Hawkeye kicked the ball to Margaret...unfortunately BJ stood in her way...unfortunately for him as she barged her way past knocking him to the ground. Determined to get the point, she ran with all her strength, her fellow Stallions knocking the others aside. From 5 metres away she was surrounded and kicked the ball hard. It flew through the air and landed just inside the goal.  
  
"HA! Stick that SPAIN!" she poked her tongue out to prove that not only a girl could do it...but an injured one at that (whose back still throbbed.)  
  
"THAT WAS GREAT!" Hawkeye hugged her.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"You still sore?"  
  
"I'll be sore for the next week...its' alright."  
  
They smiled at each other and Hawkeye asked a timeout.  
  
The Matadors took a break whilst Hawkeye talked tactics. "Okay, Margaret you hold back...not goals just you're hurt enough as it is. Klinger you move to the Front, Igor goals, Bigelow back line, Charles...you just stand around and look bored."  
  
The team rolled their eyes in response.  
  
We got 3 minutes to go...can we do it?"  
  
"HELL YEAH!" they replied.  
  
With all the tripping and sliding and knocking and general sense of violence...the players were pretty beaten up. A few sporting some nice looking cuts and bruises. 'All part of the game' Hawkeye assured both teams.  
  
The teams moved to the centre and they began when they heard the whistle blow.  
  
Hawkeye controlled the ball, running towards their goal when BAMN! BJ tripped them, sent him flying and slammed his boot into Hawk's head. Baker blew the whistle but Hawk yelled "CONTINUE PLAY!" even though he had a nice cut along his forehead.  
  
Somehow in those 3 minutes, a miracle had happened. Well aside from both teams becoming increasingly violent – Margaret, Kellye, Mulcahy, Potter and BJ all with blood dripping from somewhere – there was a miracle. The ball was left in the open and Charles of all people took charge, 'dribbling' or as Hawkeye commented 'drooling' the ball in the stupidest, baby-stepped fashion, he 'ran' up to the goals and kicked it...as hard as he could...which wasn't much and  
  
"HOLY SHI..." (Hawkeye)  
  
"HE...CHARLES...GOT A GOAL?" (BJ)  
  
"HOW THE..." (Margaret)  
  
"OH MY..." (Mulcahy)  
  
"NO WAY!" (Kellye)  
  
"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" (Potter)  
  
"HOLY TOLEDO" (Klinger)  
  
"GEEZ" (Igor)  
  
"ARGH NO!" (Zale)  
  
"HE GOT IT!" (Bigelow)  
  
"PURE FLUKE" (Abel)  
  
"WOW!" (A half-awake Radar)  
  
"WAY TO GO CHARLES!"  
  
The crowd cheered and 20 seconds later the whistle blew. 4-3 THE ITALIAN STALLIONS WIN! The crowd...and naturally those on the winning team yelled and cheered in delight. Whilst the LOSERS still had a gob smacked expression from when Charles score the goal.  
  
"WE DID IT!"  
  
"Hold on gang! COULD I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE?" Hawkeye screamed. "What most of you know this started as a friendly game but the stakes were raised at half time. The winners aka US!" they cheered, "Are getting 3 days in TOKYO!" The entire team screamed in excitement. "Yes you too Charles!" he was quite smug with himself.  
  
Radar who had recovered stood up with a familiar expression and those around him froze. "CHOPPERS!"  
  
The week of boredom was over. A VERY eventful soccer game, 3 days in Tokyo (for some) and now wounded.  
  
In the OR spirits were lifted and the general atmosphere was buzzing.  
  
"Hey...that was a good game wasn't it Hawk?" asked BJ.  
  
"Fantastic more like it!" Margaret said with a smile.  
  
"See...now do you Americans know what you're missing out on?"  
  
"Yeah yeah!" everyone moaned.  
  
"You're just happy because you go to Tokyo." Potter said.  
  
"Wouldn't you be?" said Hawkeye smugly.  
  
"You know...Pierce. I must admit that's quite an enjoyable game your soccer."  
  
"Why Charles is that a hint of joy no...maybe even...happiness?"  
  
"Just because YOU didn't score one goal Hunnicutt."  
  
BJ mumbled something under his mask.  
  
"You thought that was rough? Try having a dozen or so older male cousins jumping on you at once...not a nice experience let me tell you."  
  
"So Pierce...what are your plans for Tokyo?" asked Margaret in a quiet voice.  
  
"Per mostrarvi il mio amore il mio caro"  
  
"What was that?" Margaret asked.  
  
"Maybe a game of soccer." 


End file.
